Finding some interests

[skunk]

I already have a pretty good idea what trees I'd plant, its just a question of whether the dude is going to help pay for the plants, or if I pay for them he's not going to kick me off next season. I am hoping this will be a long term management project, I would love to plant a food forest there I just don't want to get fucked.

[Pigeon]

Might be a good idea to get something in writing. Maybe a lease if you could swing it.

[Mungodave]

I think the reason why I've become so dispondent is because I've discovered within myself a real lack of interest in reality.

It's just not interesting. It's not epic. It's not rewarding.

On top of that, I haven't even been able to fake it because I'm always reminded of the impossibility of anonymity with which most people can lose themselves in. There's no crowd which I really belong to enough to live vicariously through.

Can any medication thwart this general lack of substance which I've discovered?

I mean honestly, it's all just a tiny prison with animated walls.

There's nothing for me here. I wait and pray for death.

Death is the only thing which interests me now.

I won't be convinced otherwise.

You walls that mock the imprisoned.

Luckily it won't last.

Indie, without having read the whole thread, let me say this.

You appear to be in a malaise.
I have been there many times.

You and I have one thing the rest of the world (bar some) have.

Music.

Throw yourself at it. No quarter.

This has always worked for me. And the money always helps.

Play LOUD. Play OFTEN. Play FAST.

And only play with like minded individuals. Egos fuck music.

All the best mate.

[lkwalker]

go back to school. and take the meds your doctor prescribed.

[TraumaT]

... and stay as far away from alcohol and recreational drugs as possible right now, Indy.

[lkwalker]

No booze, no dope. Mummy is right.

[IndicusMaximus]

Yeah if only that was the problem, though.

I have a confession to make:

I'm not that good at being addicted to anything.

[SweetGrass]

Indy, what kind of things did you like before you got this way? Like when you were a teenager, did you play any sports or have after school stuff you did like skateboarding or hiking or anything? What were your previous interests before things got bad for you?

[IndicusMaximus]

The light inside is experiencing some constipation... but it's there.

[Kat]

I think the reason why I've become so dispondent is because I've discovered within myself a real lack of interest in reality.

I might be despondent if I spelled like that too!

Death is a part of the cycle of life; it's probably only humans that make it a taboo subject. But I wouldn't necessarily suggest becoming a mortician, taxidermist, funeral director or death metal "musician".

Why not travel the world and photograph interesting dead things?