Hello!

[Pana]

HI, Pigeon:

I find it useful to question and challenge. I see two things that are happening in the western world:

1. Respectful challenging is being slowly squashed by identity politics / morality
2. Many people believe in nothing and don't really feel connected to anything. Demoralized.

[Pigeon]

It seems now some people believe their opinion is fact and lies are acceptable and are reality.

Empathy is non existant for many.

[Pana]

Agreed.

[Royal]

What could be more impacting than accounting? Seriously. Accountants created writing. You have to give them that.
...and I'm DYING to know what you went into then. With a lead up like that, can you begrudge my curiosity?

I left my previous band of "Good Feminist Husband" and joined "Startle a Warbler"...

You may of heard of some of our hits called:

"Trapis Fartist"
"Tired like Chinese Tires"
"Glamorous teet tremors"
"1984loco"
"Heard the Herds of Amber Heard?"
"Rise and slime"
"Unemployapolis"
"Gym crocs"
"Obese Super Model"

He had a philosophy degree and was trained in logic. Those who are, are powerful in the analytics and are worthy to watch and listen to whether one agrees with them or not. BE was the second person I've known who could walk into a discussion and it would be like watching a master boxer patiently jabbing away at a novice, destroying his game with skill. In some ways, you would feel sorry for the idiot that took them on but in other ways, it was beautiful to watch the skill unfold.

He brought them into HIS conversation. Once they fell for it, they were done.

If one needed a symbol of everything that's wrong in western society, that incident and the immediate aftermath would be a great shoo in.

Agreed.

I shaved my long hair off in 2019 as part of my initial decision to take refuge. The funny things about being bald as a woman is, you no longer feel attractive and feminine (and then you have to ask yourself if you really are that shallow to feel that way),

Very matrix cyber punk of you. I would think that having the option for any hair type would be amazing. But this comes from my male ignorance.

I have wanted to do it since I was eighteen but because of a million reasons didn't do it then. Instead, I went about and experience life (very unhappily!). The ordained life is the real life for me. This life out here is not real. I was never satisfied with it. It has always felt empty and meaningless for me.

Are you familiar with Siddaartha's analogy of living is like a guitar string?

For six years, Siddhartha and his followers lived in silence and never left the forest.
For drink, they had rain. For food, they had a grain of rice, or a broth of mud, or the dropping of the passing bird. They were trying to master suffering by making their minds so strong they would forget about their bodies. Then, one day, Siddhartha heard an old musician on a passing boat, speaking to his pupil:- If you tighten the string too much, it will snap, and if you leave it too slack, it won’t play. Suddenly, Siddhartha realized that these simple words held the great truth, and that in all these years he had been following the wrong path. If you tighten the string too much, it will snap, and if you leave it too slack, it will not play.

Reading, reading reading. But in truth, I never felt good enough for it. I felt tainted, edgy and like I had seen too much badness to fit in with 'good' people. But I never fit in out here either. Damned both ways!

I know what you are talking about. Hopefully is not yourself over correcting into different directions.

The last five years, I really did some neat stuff looking at 'my story' and narrative and just letting myself be a stupid, beautiful mess ...

I did that in an urban setting. I often run into people with my persona from college or High School. The unhappy version, but "wise" beyond the years. In a way I miss the respect of being responsible, in another way, I laughed my butt off and wasn't depressed. People strive for that happy center.

Within all of that, I slowly started meditating more, thinking more, figuring things out and kind of piecing myself back together. In a shiny way that I can go yeah, this feels right. In 2019, I contacted the monastery via a long letter and the abbotess phoned me! I broke down in tears. Big moment for me! She was speaking in a language that only I knew from all my years of reading and could never share with anyone or when I did, they rolled their eyes. She was responding mainly to my question of asking if I'm too old to become a bhikkuhini. (Nope) and she gave some alternative ways of going about things. Then Covid hit.

Oof! Reminds me of Bo's story commentary in this song at 1:40:

At the time, I was living in a backwater prairie town (that I had moved to to get away from the city) that was highly christian conservative and working at an addictions treatment centre. I had my house to get rid of which I did just after Covid hit and moved back into the city to be closer to my type of buddhism. I follow the Thai Forest Monk tradition and it only has 5 women's monasteries in the world. There is a hermitage in Ontario (I'm in Manitoba) and it was the abbotess of this place that I had been speaking to.During covid, everything closed down, including the monasteries so I'm behind on my game plan. I'm going to wait until next year. Currently working and quietly plodding along.

What a completely different world... Wow.

The buddhism I follow is not sexy nor is it westernized. When buddhism is brought up over here, people tend to think of mindfulness, chanting and namastes. Psychology has hijacked a lot of buddhist tools for healing but left out the equally important values and ethics. I tend not to say much about it unless people show an interest. Even then, I kind of just say, hey, you might want to check out this Ajahn (teacher) or read this because well, it's personal and what is right for one might not be right for another!
...cont...

True. If behavior is a product of perception, then those with a different perception cannot possibly dance the same tune. Namaste

[Royal]

Yeah, that's what I thought you two would have been up to. :p

The electricity of textual creativity.

On the whole, what you two have done is worthy and remarkable. Really. You two have kept up a forum and a long running commentary / discussion / relationship that has spanned what, eleven years? No where else on the internet would you see what you two have done. Most would have quietly folded after a year or two. Take a bow gentlemen.

It's the Mandalorian underworld of shit talking. This is the way.

I would like to try. I mostly stay away from current stuff (madness), wokeness is driving me bonkers.

Agreed.

My main thrust of study other than buddhism over the last five years has been history, paleonthropology, evolutionary genetics and that's about it. I would definitely like to read what you both have written. Both of you were very smart and I enjoyed your thinking.

Post about it. What I have been curious about is the short time span mankind has been here compared to it's Dinosaur predecessors. Seems odd if there was no significant bipedal evolution.

Long post. Thanks for reading.

Long posts encouraged.